Embracing Pain, Suffering, & Focus

When I was 11, I heard my dad say: “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” I also frequently heard him say things like, “If it’s important to you, you’ll make time for it.” The first quote was easy to understand. The second one took some time to sink in, but now, in my mid-30s with two young kids, I think I finally get it.

At my current agency, I’m fortunate enough to have a schedule that gives me every other Friday off. For a parent, this is a goldmine—extra time to stack weekday appointments without burning leave or, better yet, to focus on something personal, like my early morning runs. 🏃‍♂️

I absolutely love running at least three times a week and lifting weights five times a week. After our second son, Ivan, was born, I shifted from late evening workouts to early mornings. It was tough at first, but now I wonder why it took me so long to make the change. On weekdays, I wake up at 4 a.m. and hit the road (or my home gym).

Typically, I run 4 miles on Monday, 5 or 6 miles on Wednesday, and 8+ miles on Fridays. On those special Fridays off, I often push the envelope, increasing my distance—these are my favorite days.

With increased distance comes familiar, and sometimes new, points of discomfort. The infamous “stitch” that can double you over and stop even the best runners in their tracks is one of those pains. Then there are muscle cramps, strains, joint issues—use your imagination or experience to picture what can cause suffering during a run. When you talk to others about it, you’ll get a variety of answers on how to deal with it. Everyone has their method… and I’m about to add mine to that list.

Changing the Approach to Pain

During any physical activity, when something hurts, your natural reaction is to stop. Make the pain go away, stop what you’re doing, don’t do the thing that made you feel bad. It’s instinctual, and often it’s the right thing to do. If I’m doing a military press or dips and my shoulder starts to scream, I stop. There’s no glory in pushing through the pain in those situations—rest that shoulder and go easy on it. But when you’re in the middle of a run, stopping might be the exact opposite of what you should do.

So here’s my advice:

Focus on the pain—and then let it go.

If you haven’t experimented with meditation, I suggest giving it a try. Any method you explore will eventually guide you toward finding strong and unwavering focus within yourself. The concept is simple, but the practice is difficult.

One reason I love running is that it gives me time to think and focus on specific topics. It’s a perfect time to dig into what’s bothering me, identify problems, or strategize for that important thing happening next Tuesday. Bottom line: running is good for my heart and even better for my mental health.

The Power of Focus

Now, imagine you’re a couple of miles into your route. You’re enjoying a decent pace (start slow and speed up as you go), and your mind instinctively opens the “Shit That Has Been Bothering Me” file. You start working through an issue or puzzle that needs your attention. I call this time “sitting in my run”—I’m not really thinking about the running part anymore. I’m on autopilot, my route is familiar, and my pace gives rhythm to my thoughts.

Then, pain happens.

It could be a mild twinge or something more acute—a sudden cramp, the dreaded stitch. Many of us will instinctively try to block it out, powering through and hoping it will just go away. But at that moment, you’ve forgotten about whatever was going on in your mind, and now you’re desperate for anything to make the suffering end. You might stop to catch your breath, wait out the discomfort, or investigate further. Then, you have to suck it up and start over again.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

After years of unsuccessfully trying to block the pain, I decided to do something different. Instead of concentrating on ignoring it, I started to focus on it.

Embracing the Pain

Ever lie in bed with an unreachable itch? It burns, itches, and nags at you, but eventually, after focusing on it, the sensation seems to pinch off and disappear. Discomfort during running can be like that itch. You can muster all your energy to ignore it, but it will still be there. Instead, focus on it. Really focus—devote your full attention to where it hurts, how it hurts, when it started. Hold the pain in your “mind’s hand,” and then… let it go.

Pain is just a signal in your head. If you numb your foot, will you still feel it? Probably not—you’ve quenched the signal. The focus isn’t really on the foot; it’s in your head. That’s where the action is. Don’t turn away from the signal; instead, analyze it and then let it go.

But don’t be foolish—suffering is real, and it demands attention. Understand it fully, and then set it free. Don’t block it, don’t run from it, and don’t pretend nothing is wrong. Use that powerful biological machine between your ears to notice, confront, understand, and finally release the pain.

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.