Trip - Wave 4, Freeflow F12 - Unguided F12

I decided it was a good day to munch on 1.6 g of Golden Teacher and see where my meditations take me. It wasn’t what I expected but it was what I needed right in this moment.

Set & Setting

I had a light-ish lunch with some chocolate-covered & roasted espresso beans. I then bitterly chewed on 1.6 g of GT and washed it down with water. Kim and I watched about half of a documentary and decided that it was time to relax for a bit. I went off to meditate by myself in my office like I normally do. Honestly outside of GT this was an incredibly typical Saturday.

Wave 4, Freeflow F12

At this point it’s been about 40 minutes since I ate my dose of GT. The absorption began right at 20 minute mark so that’s nice to know for future trips.

I set my intention on connecting with higher consciousness beings such as NHI or my higher-self. Getting into F10 was incredibly easy and quick. Getting into F12 was also fast and I felt my consciousness expand like never before 👍🏻.

Once I was in the right place and open for “outside” communication I awaited eagerly. Then I waited longer. I must have waited for what felt like the entire session. I sent out messages in hopes of contact, etc. Still nothing. Phosphene action was pretty intense though so I knew all the pieces were in place. Nothing, just noise.

Unguided F12

Okay, so guided meditation was kind of a bust. I switched over to the Expand app (by TMI), set timer to 1 hour, F12 and no background sound. I was feeling intense euphoria at this point and felt like maybe this is my best shot at achieving what I wanted with the first session.

This time things were more interesting but still no meaningful progress. I took this as a sign to just chill and observe, and so I did. Previously mentioned phosphene action was at an all time peak now and I got a wonderful show of light, shapes, and some random visions. The visions were super random, like a close up of a pair of jeans (I don’t wear jeans).

Once again too much happening all at once to focus on anything in particular, in fact it was impossible to focus on anything to get a string of messages across. The next day I chalked this up to possibly just being weirdly open to a lot of sources and thus just overstated in all that. I wonder if lowering the dosage to 0.5 g could result in a more practical application of GT + meditation.

An attempt to nap

You can’t, it’s not possible with GT, don’t try it… or do try it if you’re the kind of person that doesn’t learn from others and rather experience these kinds of mild annoyances on their own. 😆

Closing out the evening

At the point of the failed nap I was already on my way back down, Kim and the kids were up from nap/quiet time, so I just got up. The weather was nice so the family was out in the backyard for some fresh air, I decided to join them. This was the best decision of the day, I felt more connected and engaged.

In retrospect I noticed that my short-fuse that I’ve been working on for a couple months was much longer, perhaps barely even there. Things that would typically annoy me just weren’t. Things that would create a minor chip in my mind from some poorly perceived interaction just weren’t forming. I felt tremendous gratitude & love for my family (including dogs 🐕), nature, existence, my higher self for guiding me to this moment, and all the faults and negative energy that I’ve picked up in this life for they reminded me that I am alive and still have much work to do.

F15 & Lights Out

This was the nudge I needed to move on in my practice for I was stuck. As everything wore off and the night concluded I received one more little gift. I don’t know if it was from GT, my high self, or simply… me. As I closed my eyes and prepared to drift off, no energy to RV or light meditative exploration, I was thrust into the void.

This time the void was different than any other time I’ve ended up here. It felt dimensional and vast. There was absolutely nothing but blackness aside from a soft and warm air gently swirling around me. It was incredibly peaceful, I was dumbstruck 😲. Then I got an idea, if I’m already here might as well see where I can go to next. The very instant that I started to make REBAL I was sucked right out of the void and the familiar phosphene action returned… I got kicked back down to F3.

I believe that the gift was a brief experience in F15. It’s my next stepping stone from where I currently am (advanced F12). I am very thankful for this glimpse in what’s to come because often times when you’re doing this work on expanding your consciousness you don’t have any idea of what a particular state should or could feel like. Granted, you’ll know when you get to those levels if you’re really there but it is nice to have a little head’s up now and again.

🍄‍🟫