Unguided F10, F12, Five Messages & Synchronicities

I just finished a very long project that spanned many years, so I took a “working Friday” off and ran 13 miles to think about the future—my goals, my next moves. Honestly, nothing was special about the length of the run, but I really needed the time and space to think clearly instead of mentally preparing myself for the day to come. It proved to be a good choice, and I’ve got some things on the horizon that I’ll be sharing over time through the professional blog part of this website. It’s all good stuff—love and light and all that—nothing negative.

Having done that, I went back to my regular scheduled meditation sessions today. They haven’t been as exciting, insightful, or fruitful lately. I chalk that up to the extra stress over the past few weeks. Today’s session didn’t feel much different, and it took some creative and resilient thinking to keep the “woe is me” attitude at bay. I did some maintenance work in an unguided F10 and F12 session and then moved on to the “Five Messages” Gateway tape.

Unguided F10, F12, Five Messages

Like I said, these sessions weren’t exactly more memorable than a daydream. I pressed on anyway and did my new routine of unguided sessions to look inward, clear my thinking, jump into F12 (consciousness-net), and practice a bit of NVC 👋🏻😃🙃👋🏻👽👋🏻🛸👋🏻—something like that. After saying my gratitude and goodbyes, I popped back to waking state and selected a guided session to finish the afternoon. This approach seems more constructive: I’m loosened up beforehand, so I can keep my focus during the guided part while letting “the observer” roam free.

I chose to do the “Five Messages” tape again—I find it helpful to repeat it now and then. Life changes, new situations arise, and there’s always something else ahead. There’s nothing better than asking your higher self, “Hey, what do I need to know right now?” Whether the message comes from your higher self, a guide, or Roger the ol’ grey down the space alley, it doesn’t really matter. The point is to set the intention to receive wisdom from someone—or something—that has your best interests in mind. That’s why we do the prep work: to engage only with positive, equal, or higher-resonance sources.

Anyway, I got nothing but blank non-visions and darkness… oh, and some odd body aches. This session was a true exercise in perseverance. There might’ve been a couple visuals, but they’re hard to recall—probably just noise.

I remember lying down as Kim came in, telling her about this nothing-burger, but keeping my chin up. We’ve heard it from so many authors and explorers: if you don’t get an answer right away, be aware in waking life—it’ll likely come through there or in a dream. That made me think. In the Gateway Program, we’re constantly encouraged to be more aware in waking life. Even F12 itself is about the expansion of consciousness, the energy body, the double beyond the physical body and PMR (physical matter reality) boundaries.

So, it’s not just about expanding consciousness there, it’s about expanding here too. What you do there affects you here, and what you do here affects your state out there… if you catch my drift.

Synchronicities

So, I held my head high and moved on, going about my Saturday like usual. At this point, all I had was belief—if these messages are meant to come, they will, one way or another. I had a knowing that this was how it was supposed to unfold. I put in my earbuds, fired up The Neville Goddard Deluxe Collection on Audible (yes, it’s repetitive, but I’m finishing it), and got to work on chores and maintenance.

Changing my approach with our oldest son

Before long, I was listening to stories about people fulfilling their desires through “living from the end”—imagining they’d already achieved what they wanted. Classic Goddard stuff. Then the topic shifted to doing the same process for others: imagining someone else’s life fulfilled in a way that benefits them. Thinking positively about yourself and others works—even without invoking the woo. How would your attitude shift if you truly meditated on a good, fulfilling visualization of someone? You don’t have to know or even like them. Just tuning your consciousness to a better reality affects how you interact with that person. That interaction influences their behavior—subtly, maybe even profoundly.

Enter my oldest boy. He’s very much a seven-year-old… and lying is something he’s not just trying, he seems good at it. We’ve had many talks about what lying is and how it affects relationships—inside and outside our family. Still, not much progress. Listening to that segment made me realize: the opposite of helping someone is also true.

When he lies, we ho-hum, get upset, and hold him in our minds as a liar—someone who can’t be trusted. Almost like he’s not part of the family. So how can we expect him to grow if we’ve already cast him in that archetype?

That changes today.

I will no longer allow myself to think of him that way again. Every time I think of my oldest boy, I will hold a mental image of someone who is trustworthy, honorable, caring, kind, and fiercely intelligent. Because he is all of those things. He just has a lot to learn, and these bumps are part of that process. Visualizing him in a negative light does nothing but undermine him. And why would I undermine someone I love?

It’s easy to dive into negativity. It’s much harder to notice that tendency and take a stand.

That boy is me…

Later, as I was still listening and working, something else came up that stopped me in my tracks and stayed with me for the rest of the evening—and into the night.

What made me stop:

“Last Friday, I drove to our country home — nothing was unusual about the day or evening. I worked on a manuscript and, not being tired, did not try to fall off to sleep until around two the following morning. Then I turned off the light and drifted into that floating sensation, not asleep but drowsy, as I call it, half awake and half asleep.

“Often, while in this state — lovely, unknown faces float before me — but this morning the experience was different. A perfect face of a child came before me in profile — then it turned and smiled at me. It was glowing with light and seemed to fill my own head with light.

“I was aglow and excited and thought ‘this must be the Christos’; but something within me, without sound, said, ‘No, this is you’. I feel I will never be the same again and some day I may experience the ‘Promise’.” …G.B.

Chapter 14, The Law and The Promise, Neville Goddard

Why I stopped: I’ve been seeing this boy in dreams and meditation for years—maybe longer. Lately, he’s been around a lot. I can see his face; I recognize it but can never describe it. The boy is me.

I’ve been pondering his identity for a long time. It’s almost silly that I never considered he was me. But honestly, I’m either super dense (very likely), or this phenomenon operates in that classic grey zone—where you’re awkwardly led to a conclusion rather than handed it outright.

A few years ago, I would’ve called that idea BS. But having been in this for a while now, and realizing that the Universe speaks through NVC—non-verbal communication—it’s not hard to believe these things take time to develop. For me, personally, I’ve never been great at jumping to conclusions. And when I do, I usually get proven wrong in some wildly ironic way. It’s like a cosmic joke, but I appreciate the lessons.

The boy has appeared many times—more frequently in recent months. I vividly remember a dream before my son was conceived, where I was playing with this boy in the living room of my old house. We were wrestling, and I thought I hurt his arm. I felt awful, but he didn’t seem bothered. Another recent moment was during meditation, where I was chasing him through an old playground—one I used to play on as a kid. I remember green, yellow, and blue metal bars.

Of course, the boy is me. He always has been. I can trace back to when he began to fade—from around first grade, age 6 going on 7. That was a turning point. My family split. My world of mom and dad was torn in two. I was uprooted and thrown into unfamiliar territory. I survived by going through the motions, rebuilding piece by piece.

It was never the same. That was the fork in the road. The golden, radiant boy with the big smile was silenced—replaced by someone darker, more serious. But he never disappeared. I always knew I’d find my way back to him—or he’d find his way back to me. He’s been creeping into view more and more as I grow, as I overcome inner hurdles.

One day, he was right at the center of my awareness. A clear “Hey, remember me?” moment. I wasn’t ready. But he’s persistent. I admire the hustle. I see where I get mine. Now I seek him. It’s up to me to grow him, nurture him, bring him into the light.

Who is he? My soul? My energy body? A guide? Honestly, it doesn’t matter. These are just labels. It all boils down to the same thing: how you perceive, what frequency you’re tuned into, and what you’re ready to receive.

Final thoughts

It’s funny now, thinking about how much effort I put into reaching something out there. Meanwhile, something else was doing the same—trying to reach me. One of us succeeded, and the other can learn from it.

The boy finally got my complete and total awareness through non-verbal communication (NVC), and thus I have a new knowing for his success is my success and his knowledge is my own. This doesn’t feel like a conclusion. It feels like a beginning.

A change.