Exploring F15

Before I begin my mini meditation retreat this week, I thought I’d spend some quality time in F15—the void, the place without time. Lately, it’s become my default go-to when I don’t really have a mission or just don’t have the energy to focus. F15 is a powerful state for manifestation, so I have to be mindful of my thoughts here (honestly, everywhere—even in waking life). It’s incredibly relaxing and soothing. Ten minutes without a purpose can feel like an hour. It truly is a place beyond time.

F15

After a 20-minute prep in F10 and F12—where I almost dozed off—I dropped into the “Exploring F15” tape from Wave V. Moving from F3 to F10, then F12, and into F15 and back out again, I’ve started noticing the distinctions between these states more clearly. It’s like moving between radio stations—passing through static, then locking into something distinct. They all feel related, yet couldn’t be more different.

I’ve been working on artwork to depict how these states show up for me—how I experience them. As I talk to others, I’m noticing definite commonalities, and those are starting to guide what I include in these illustrations. F15, to me, is pure awareness stretching infinitely forward and back. It’s not anchored to space—there’s no visual component. Just presence. It’s incredibly serene.

This time, I intended to connect with my guides—and, if possible, with my father again. I felt things physically that I hadn’t before, or at least not this intensely. As soon as I called out to my guides, I got goosebumps all over. It faded… except in my left leg, which kept buzzing for some reason. A moment later, a swell of energy rose in my chest. My heart felt full, like it had expanded and was glowing. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it stayed with me the whole time.

I’ve yet to meet my guides face-to-face or speak in the traditional sense. All communication so far has been through thought, synchronicity, intuition—NVC. I’ve felt their presence before, but never this clearly. I asked some simple questions and received answers that came through like echoes or emotions. In a place of intuition and manifestation, this kind of response makes sense to me.

Question:

What lies ahead of me? What is the most important message I need to hear right now?

Answer:

Let go – just let go – let go – let go – just let go

Question:

Who is the boy?

Answer:

You know – He’s you – You already know that – You kno

Question:

Why were we separated?

Answer:

Pain – trauma – he is to be protected – pain

Question:

How can I reach him? How can I call on him?

Answer:

Heart – heart – look in your heart – heart

Question:

I want to speak to my father

A long silence followed. These answers didn’t echo.

Answer:

I’m here.

There was a pause before I could ask more. I got emotional.

I’m always with you. When you feel anger, I help calm it down. You know I’m always with you.

Question:

Why didn’t we speak more when you were alive?

Answer:

Free will. I would never impose anything on you unless you initiated it first.

That’s where the session ended. I wanted to keep going—but I also understood there was enough to process, and I can return to it later. Interestingly, the answers I received from my father came in a mix of Russian and English. Language doesn’t matter much in these states, but still—an interesting detail.

The Skeptical Elephant in the Room

Okay, but how is this not just your own mind talking to itself?

If you’re reading this and nodding (or shaking your head), muttering “these are just your thoughts, man,” I get it. I used to feel the same way about all of this so-called “woo.” I won’t spend this whole space citing CIA docs or well-respected voices in the field of consciousness studies, but I’ll occasionally offer some breadcrumbs for thought.

The practice of meditating with Hemi-Sync—or just meditating, period—trains you to shut off the analytical mind. To observe without reaction or processing. When you ask a question in that state, you don’t analyze the answer—you observe it. And honestly, I can sit in that stillness for a long time without a single thought. But when something does arrive—it’s noticed, not dissected. The analysis comes later, back in waking consciousness.

I’ve joked that these experiences are “objectively subjective,” but… if we truly accept that physical matter reality arises from consciousness, then consciousness is, in a sense, objectifying its own existence.

In Conclusion

Yesterday I was still working through the entire collection of Goddard’s works and came across this powerful quote:

Stop looking for signs. Signs follow, they do not precede. Begin to reverse the statement ‘seeing is believing’ to ‘believing is seeing.’ … You will find that you’re not the victim of fate but a victim of faith—your own.”

— Neville Goddard

Somehow… this feels relevant.