Tending the Forgotten

As above, so below; as below, so above.

Trip Report

Yesterday I ran 14 miles to finish out physical training for my 37th year as a human. Felt good to finish the year strong at a faster pace than when I started, same plan for 38. There was one more activity to see through before my actual birthday, a psilocybin trip 🍄‍🟫. The goal for this experience was to heal and provide nourishment for my expanding consciousness. That is the intention that I focused on and as usual prepared myself by staying light and in a good mood.

• 13:50 – Ingested 3g of Golden Teacher.

• 14:10 – Meditation, intro to Focus 21.

  • No visuals—not even phosphene activity.
  • Psilocybin began to kick in midway through.
  • Easy to drop into focus states, but harder to stay there.
  • Strong sense of my second body—moving into it was incredibly easy.
  • Sideways bobbing sensation.
  • When prompted to observe during F21, I distinctly felt myself move my head forward and glance side to side, like peering through curtains. The moment I realized what I was doing, my awareness would snap back to my physical position.
  • I don’t think I fully realized it at the time, but most of that meditation was me shifting awareness back and forth between my physical body and my energy body—learning the feel of it, finding the method that works best for me.
  • This time, being in my second body—pure energy—felt just as natural as being in my physical body. So natural that I would sometimes forget where my awareness really was.

• 15:00 – Pretty sure we’re in full swing now. Heavy euphoria. I want to induce a lucid dream but, once again, that feels like rowing against the current. So I’m just going to go with it.

  • I want to be lying down, but I also don’t.
  • Euphoria, yes—but also a torrent of energy flowing through me.

• 15:05 – My left pupil is twice the size of my right pupil 😂

• 15:15 – Was just reflecting on how differently we all perceive the world. Maybe it’s a scale. I often hear people describe these fantastical experiences, but when you really get into it, I realize… I experience those things regularly. They’re not wild or special to me, but to them they’re hard to explain. It’s like tuning a radio—you spend days thinking “this sounds great,” and then someone bumps the dial just a bit and suddenly the sound’s clearer, deeper. Even better. But how much better? How much more real than your baseline? What even is my baseline? What about Kim’s? The kids’? None of our realities are identical—maybe just close enough that we can agree on some of it.

• 15:20 – Feeling kinda nauseous, on and off.

• 15:25 – We’re all tuned into different spots on the high-vibration spectrum, but that doesn’t define who we are. Moose is a huge and powerful dog—bigger than most around here—but he’s gentler than our neighbor’s tiny black dog. Where you are on the spectrum of baseline reality doesn’t dictate your actions or what you’re capable of.

• 15:30 – Strong sense of oneness and peace. Feels like I’m stabilizing.

• 15:50 – I don’t know what to do with myself lol.

  • When I move, I feel like a floating head. My body is light as a feather—my perception just glides.

• 16:00 – Watching the kids play outside in the backyard while feeling very much at one with the chair I’m sitting in.

• 16:15 – Coming down. Planted a couple tomato plants. Took care of some others that needed attention. 👍🏻

• 16:40 – An epiphany… I did exactly what the mushrooms nudged me to do. I took care of plants that weren’t neglected, but just needed attention. I always think I’m being careful—setting the right intentions, controlling mood and environment… and then I end up planting tomatoes. Just let go. I’ve been told so many times during meditation: stop trying to be, just be.

• 16:45 – Decided to finish The Fourth Mind by Whitley Strieber. Listened while cleaning glass. Just another Saturday 🙂

• 17:05 – Strieber says some wild things—hard to prove, conveniently fuzzy—but one thing I agree with: humans aren’t learning new psi abilities… we’re remembering them. Something terrible must have happened to us—maybe something we did with those abilities—that pushed us so far into a materialist worldview. And yet… religions all over the world recount people using abilities that seem utterly absurd now. Why?

  Because we’ve forgotten. But that doesn’t mean it’s not real.

  I can enter altered states—lucid dreams, deep meditation, OBEs—without any psychedelics. Psilocybin just widens the door. But it’s the same room. These are tools. Technologies. Interfaces for the non-local field of consciousness.

  It’s always been there. Always will be.

  Maybe we lost it due to trauma—whether by our own hands or not. But forgetting doesn’t erase. You can pretend air doesn’t exist, but you still breathe it.

  Does a whale know that there’s land above water? Does it matter? Whales came from land mammals. So maybe, deep down, they still know how to go back—just like they once left land for sea. Or maybe they’ve forgotten. Maybe only we, the observers, notice.

  What if something is observing us?

  What if it’s reaching back—reminding us?

  Maybe that’s the point: to remember. And then remember again. Each time a little clearer. Each time we improve the memory. Each cycle balances entropy, refining the system toward a perfect state.

  And maybe that’s the mystery—what happens when we finally remember? We start all over again. There’s mourning for what we’re leaving behind. And excitement for what’s ahead.

  Bittersweet.

• 17:35 – Ran this by Kim. I don’t think she was humoring me (too much). She agreed it tracks.

• 18:00 – Man, I’m tired.

• 18:30 – Delicious dinner courtesy of Kim—BBQ chicken 🍗, my favorite. Sitting in the bedroom, I was waxing poetic about how my Spyderco Salt Para3 with the custom clip and lanyard has totally curbed my knife-buying urges. I just take it out and flick it open. It’s perfect. Kim: “I’m happy for you.” 🤣

• 19:00 – Star Wars with Maksim 🤌🏻

• 19:50 – Pretty sure I just figured out a technical problem that’s been bothering me for months.

• 20:15 – Leaning back in the backyard with Moose 🐕, skywatching to Rezz 🤖

• 21:30 – Ended the night with mugwort tea and black licorice syrup.

• 22:00 – Fell asleep without incident.